It's always summer on the inside.

Believing in things we don't expect.

2011-08-11T20:31:00.001-07:00

Every phase of life seems to come and go so quickly. I feel like I just barely put on my grad cap and gown and walked, but that was four months ago (kind of a long time!) and now I am moving to Provo in exactly two weeks. How much do I need to get done in two weeks? A lot. Like finish my scrapbook and finish good reading and detail my car and memorize lab values and play...

play very hard.

and it all will get done because I love checklists.

Can I say that this SUMMER has flown by and is ending so differently than it started?

Here I am saying it. That it is so much more full of life and glorious things than I ever expected

More than I ever expected. How often do we say that life has exceeded expectations?

Here I am saying it

that worlds can be opened to us that really didn't seem likely or desired or needed or possible

but they OPEN

like a good book that stays open for a very long time and we are changed

and we share it with other people and they change too

and we end up spending time in places we would have never ever thought

(and when I say "we" I mean me)

Me. Lindsey Anne. I am going to be an intern very very soon at Brigham Young... and I have been changed. I am excited to work in a hospital for the next 6 weeks

and I find slaloming exhilarating

I enjoyed making a budget today on Mint.com (yes me, talking about money)

I'm getting a 4G phone in October (yes me, entering this century)

Now my favorite mornings are spent with mom and dad biking or swimming or hiking.

I LOVE THAT.

And:

I didn't go to my ward's superactivity. I went to California with bestest friends instead

I played beach volleyball and spikeball and loved it

and expediting didn't stress me out yesterday

and I'm going with the flow and not wondering where the next marker down the channel is

...what has gotten into me?

I think I have come to the realization that I can do whatever I want. What I really really want.

I'm learning that what actually happens sometimes is actually better than what I even wanted in the first place

and that maybe expectations are funny things that should be thrown out and we should just

LIVE instead.

and when I say "we" I mean me. Lindsey Anne.

This place.

2011-06-25T15:22:00.000-07:00

I love this place.

I love walking with a backpack on this campus

this beautiful PLACE that used to be so scary to me when I first started

but now it feels so. much. like. home. and I love that I get another year here!

Another year of BYU football game diehardness

of studying in the library where it is quiet

buying groceries from my favorite store

going to ward prayer and FHE and seeing the people that I love

working out at the SFH and running with good buddies

It will be a rockin fall semester.

But now it is SUMMER, and I am not at this place. I am at this place and do I love it?

OH HOW I LOVE IT!

I love the early morning hikes up Adam's Canyon

the warm showers uninterrupted

boating. boating!

getting my hair done by my nieces and nephew, aka the best future hairstylists

the view from my house of the lake - I LOVE the view!

I love having a parking spot waiting for me.

And my family, always there. I love my family too. So much.

I love feeling free, not held back by the things that I used to be afraid of

not letting people make me feel small.

A year ago, I didn't use cruise control. Or drive and park in Salt Lake by myself

or run seven miles uphill

or mow the hardest lawn ever

I couldn't do that before.

Me won't hold me back anymore. There are things I want to do that I didn't even used to want to do

and now I can end up sitting on a porch swing for three hours with a book

or run a race. or a relay,

things I love that I didn't think were possible to love, and now they are a real part of me.

Writing helps me see the open door.

2011-05-21T21:11:00.000-07:00

This was today! I did it. Half marathon #2! My brother-in-law Jared and I took mom and dad's spots, so today my name was Janine and Jared's was Glen. We rocked it! I wasn't as nervous this time, although I should have been! Running 7 miles before the race isn't exactly training... but the course was so GLORIOUS and it was a beautiful day

and Jared is a great running buddy, although he is much more in shape than me and did most of the talking.

I love it. Running. I really do - the kind of running that makes you raise both hands in the air and exclaim AH! I LOVE THIS! IT DOESN'T GET BETTER THAN THIS!

the Gu and the carb loading and the powerade

volunteers with signs that say You Got This!

the perseverance quotes like Pain is temporary, but pride is forever, so shut up and run

What else do I love about running?

Creating a new playlist on the pod with all my new favorite songs, especially this one that came at mile six

and this one at mile 11,

the people in my miles who keep me going, even if their songs come later than I was hoping

I love the journey. I set my cruise control and there was this fire in me to keep going

and I kept going.

Tenacity.

There were a lot of favorite parts, but my two very favorites:

seeing the temple when I turned the corner for the last mile, and seeing my PARENTS with a half mile left to go. They were THERE! They found me and ran with me and took pictures and encouraged me on and were so proud that I was 20 minutes faster than last time

and I shouted at the top of my lungs that I hate dietetics and I hate dietitians and I hate that I have a degree in dietetics and that I hate I'm becoming a dietitian

because last night after my (HORRIBLE) day at work at the hospital, Dad said that I should shout curses on dietetics as I crossed the finish line...

and I did. Dad gives great advice.

And today? It was a good day at the hospital, and I'll probably still become a dietitian.

And forever? I will love running.

Trying Recipes in Gluten-Free Land

2011-05-01T15:30:00.000-07:00

Sometimes THIS is what it takes to see that a gluten-free recipe from online isn't very good... Whenever some newbie celiac gets something even remotely edible to work that's gluten-free, they slab it up on every website and label it as "World's Best Gluten Free____________!"

But in reality, the recipe author is just overzealous. Look at these disasters!

When I smelled the warm carrot-cake cupcakes warming up in the oven, I didn't expect my whole tin of batter to be running over the sides and dripping onto the oven floor! I was all alone, in my parent's house, and I laughed outloud

laughed really hard at myself and that the fact that

sometimes having this disease is hilarious.

I got tired of my adventures turning out this way, which is why I said goodbye to my "from-scratch" cooking and said hello to Betty Crocker. She knows what's up.

I no longer need to convince myself that cooking from scratch is superior. It's not.

I made no-bake cookies to make up for my long lost carrot-cake cupcakes :)

Maybe I should post about graduating from college, or about being a big girl and taking care of my parent's house while they are in Israel

or about starting a new job at an amazing hospital

all of that is happening to me right now too,

but I couldn't keep these beauties all to myself. Want to come try them?

My life--The pictures!

2011-03-21T22:17:00.001-07:00

It's Tomorrow!

2011-03-18T08:20:00.000-07:00

The half marathon. It's really here! And I would love to say that I'm stoked and it's everything I've been waiting for
and that I'm super buff and that I'm a legit runner and that I'm going to ROCK it
but right now all I can say is that...
I'm kinda nervous.
I've never done a half marathon, I've never even been an athlete and... all the girls I'm going with ARE.
But I am me. Lindsey Anne. And three years ago? I couldn't even jog thirteen minutes. And tomorrow, I will run thirteen miles. I will. It might take me an hour longer than everyone else, but that's okay.
I'm still me, and it's my goals and my time and my experience that doesn't need to be compared to anyone else's. It's not a race. Just an experience--that I will love, if I conquer my fear.

Can I list all the things that could be worse at this point?
The muscle I pulled in my leg three weeks ago could still be hurting, but it's not hurting. Yes!
I could be sore from working out too hard, but I'm not sore.
It could be higher altitude and harder, but it's not. Moab is lower altitude, warmer, and BEAUTIFUL!
I could be going with people who don't care about me. But these girls, although they are much more in shape than I am, really care for me and are my best friends. They'll wait and they won't make me feel dumb.
I could be sleep deprived or sick, and I'm not. I'm healthy.

And there is a big part of me that is incredibly excited. Carb loading, stretching, layering up, wearing an iPod, talking with people along the way, shedding those layers
and running distances I would have never thought possible,
A road trip with my dearest dietetics friends, doing something I've never done before.
I can do hard things.

Accepting.

2011-02-24T23:12:00.000-08:00

Harold Crick taught me a lesson today.
My answers always seem to come in the strangest places
Sranger, perhaps may be a better word.
Or Fiction.
All good answers have something to do with feeding the people you love
with baking, and sharing it, and forgetting about the taxes

or living your life, without counting your steps or the number of tiles in the room
because you know why you are living that life and with each strum on that guitar that rocks, you discover more confidence

And given the chance to read the end of the story, even if it's just an outline
would you hand back the manuscript and say

I liked your story. Especially the part about the guitars.

And accept the fate you're given, even if you're not in charge because you are not the author

even though you sometimes think you are

Or would you freeze in fear and stop living your life, because you know you'll die at the end. ?

Harold Crick didn't.

The Way We Show Love

2011-02-15T20:58:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and fortunately, I had a lot of errands to run on campus. I loved walking through all of the festivities for the day! I saw the can-your-valentine booth set up by the Food Science Club, the personalized icing on heart-shaped cookies done by Sugar and Spice, and my very favorite: the long long line of men at Campus Craft and Floral.

I love seeing how people love each other.

I saw dozens of girls with roses and tulips and daisies

and lots of guys with flowers in-hand on the way to deliver.

I saw two people with balloons tied to their back-packs,

and the most unusual way I saw someone share love: a guy picking his girlfriend's zit. However you want to show it... I guess it works!

Brooke from work made her husband breakfast in bed, and Bianca from work woke up to a trail of rose petals and a fiance at the end.

Kate from the dietetics program came home to a bouquet of flowers from her man, and Renee from the dietetics program made pizza with her new husband.

And mine came at 4:40 am, in the picture, and in a virtual date. A perfect beginning, and a perfect ending.

Happy. Really happy Valentine's.

The Newest BYU Dietetic Intern

2011-01-25T20:17:00.000-08:00

I had a dream last night that I opened my letter to notify me of acceptance/rejection to the BYU DI, but the wording was so vague that I couldn't tell if I had been accepted or not! I must have had this dream six or seven times last night, and every time I was left hanging. I couldn't read the names of the accepted applicants either because of a huge smudge. So I was wide awake at 4:00 AM this morning, ansy to open a real live letter.

And today, at 5:06 PM, I opened my letter, in reality, and I was ACCEPTED! I didn't think I would ever grow up to live through this day! But I did. I lived it. And now, I'm saying hello to another Fall, Winter, and Spring at Brigham Young University. And what's more, I get to see Jake Heaps rock another football season!

Hello BYU. I guess I never really said goodbye, and now I won't have to for another year and a half.

Realizing That We Are in God's Hands

2011-01-15T12:39:00.000-08:00

The words from my favorite talks always seem to find me at the right time. These words were today's from Elder Maxwell.

"It is only by yielding to God that we can begin to realize His will for us. And if we truly trust God, why not yield to His loving omniscience? After all, He knows us and our possibilities much better than do we.

For the faithful, what finally emerges is an understanding of “things as they really are” (Jacob 4:13), such as the reassuring realization that we are in the Lord’s hands! But, brothers and sisters, we were never really anywhere else!

Perhaps the realization of being in God’s hands comes fully only as we ponder the significance of the prints in the hands of our submissive Savior. Indeed, we are in His hands, and what hallowed hands!"

Neal A. Maxwell, "“Willing to Submit”", Ensign, May 1985, 70

It is all in His hands, even any of our efforts come by His power, so it's all in His hands and power, and you have nothing to worry about.

--Taken from a text of someone who knows me well. At least 10% well.

I was reading in my Rome journal yesterday, which was given to me from a dear friend. I found myself laughing out loud at my own words, like how the highlight of my day was often finding a bathroom where I didn't have to pay, or the Double Caramel Magnum bar I savored, or the Apple Fanta I sipped with my dinner.

Silly. A lot of it was silly. Like how you know you've been in Rome too long when you have all of the metro recordings memorized and no longer feel strange reaching into your pants to get your moneybelt.

Some of my words came from the deepest part of me though.

We remember our happy memories more than the details of our pain, because they become a part of us

our strong part -

The wisdom in us that allows us to get through harder experiences with greater faith, because we have accessed the power of the Atonement, and we have become whole.

When we rely on the Lord as our strength, our very core, then despite all the storms, we will make it through, with greater tolerance and compassion

while diligently becoming more Christlike.

--My words then, and my words now:

We are in His hands as we submit.

Stars and Dots

2010-12-28T09:18:00.000-08:00

I read this book to my niece two nights ago at our sleepover. I had forgotten about the note my parents had written in the front of it in 1999. I stopped to read it, and as tears welled up in my eyes, I tried to not let my niece see.

It happened at the end too. Happy tears. I think she was confused why I was crying.

My Punchinello self has asked this same question for a long time.

"Why don't the stickers stay on her?"

The Lord has given me so many opportunities to learn this.

"Because she has decided that what I think is more important than what they think. The stickers only stick if you let them. The stickers only stick if they matter to you. The more you trust my love, the less you care about their stickers."

Of course we let our stickers stick to us - why wouldn't we? Stickers are the things that matter to us - our hopes and dreams, people who mean a lot to us, our accomplishments, our past, the compliments people give us,

And this is now my own thinking--

When one of our stickers doesn't turn out the way we planned, or a compliment or accomplishment we expected doesn't come

We put red dots on our original dots, of the ones that didn't turn out as expected, or betrayed us, so that we and everyone around us will be reminded of all of our self-declared failures - red dots that we let stick to us

sometimes that is all we see in the mirror and in our own countenances.

Why do we keep these?

Maybe we think that holding onto them will someday make the red go away,

or maybe because

it's hard. The stickers cling on tight and it's hard to pull them off.

I have thought a great deal about this, because we have referenced this book a lot at my job. It has taken me a long time to come up with how to get our red dots off. And it has been a glorious feeling to finally answer Punchinello's question.

In our own hands, we hold a box of dots too. They have sticky stuff on the back of them that can cling even more than the dots we get stuck with.

When we, or another person, or some life event is about to stick a dot on us, we stick our dot right back on that one coming towards us, adhesive to adhesive. And then?

The dot cannot stick to us. There is no more sticky stuff because we have made it impossible to stick to us. Our power to repel dots is in our own hands

our own dot box of trust and love and hope

prayers, studying, doing good, being a good friend, thoughtfulness

empathy. Charity, seeking,

visits to Eli.

Our own adhesive that will repel the dots.

Trying New Things

2010-12-19T19:32:00.001-08:00

I haven't pushed New Post in almost two years, but here I am.

Back. And writing.

My well is no longer dry. I am here, I am. This part of me is no longer dead. It's here, Revived like me.

I've done a lot of growing up, a lot of coloring my picture without the pink. I have done things I would have never imagined myself growing up to do, a lot of things learned I never imagined that I could know

but I know them, and they are a part of me

growing and blossoming into a tree of me.

I took the GRE. I ran a 10K. I'm graduating. I learned to play guitar and cook and teach Relief Society and plan meals for more than 100 people

I learned to love

I learned to cope

I am

Courage and Tenacity. Faith and Hope.

And would I trade it? No I would never trade it. My picture is my picture, and I needed to color it all by myself for two years.

It's easy to get comfortable, doing what we do everyday

everyday.

Taking the same route, calling the same people, cooking the same things, playing the same chords and songs we've played for two years.

it's easy. Familiar.

We resist Mom saying Come try this. We ignore Opportunity because we're scared, or we think we're busy with more important things

until It nags us so much that we give in.

And then we learn a new strumming pattern, when we initially didn't think we could

and tears of this indescribable JOY and gloriousness well up in our eyes

because we can do what we never thought possible.

It was my dream. It came true.

2009-03-16T21:50:00.000-07:00

This was last Friday. I was getting ready for my big interview for the Dietetics Program. Do I look nervous? I was a little nervous. I wore my first pencil skirt, Dana's black tights, and Lyndi's corporate heels - the pointy kind with bows. I didn't walk to school in them. That would have been asking for a very embarrassing trip and fall... so I kept them in a bag until I got to the Eyring Science Center. I made the switch from my flats to heels for my 13 minute interview. Then the corporate heels came off as soon as I turned the corner from the Nutrition, Dietetics, and Food Science hall. Very professional.

This was today. I got my acceptance letter! I've been waiting for this day for 2 whole years. I can now officially say that my major is the Dietetics major. I no longer have to say that I'm a Pre-dietetics major, and then explain the application process, and that I'm hoping to get into the program...

I'm in!

Not only did a lovely letter come in the mail, but a package too! I was expecting textbooks from Amazon, so when a very large box arrived, I was quite confused. It turned out to be six boxes of Gluten Free Gorilla Munch Cereal, and six boxes of Gluten Free Granola Bars! It was a very unexpected surprise from a very nice person in my ward. Can you believe how thoughtful people are? I have never felt more loved by a ward member. How wonderful. People really care for each other. It's only the beginning- look at all these other pictures!

This is a birthday cake from the old people at Cove Point Retirement. Isn't that sweet of them to make me a birthday cake? (A month late, but it's the thought, right?)

Gluten free pumpkin pie, pecan pie, and French Silk chocolate pie. A guy in my ward had a "Pi Day" party on 3/14, and he made lots of pies for everyone to enjoy- including me! He borrowed some ingredients from me and made 3 gluten free pies! Isn't that amazing? The brownie in the pie tin is from a girl in my ward named Shannon. She is a gluten-free girl too and we share treats all the time :)

Gluten free chocolate chip cookies made by Lyndi my roommate. Tasty.

These are gluten free cheese curls from Rob. He said he saw them at Costco and thought of me. Isn't that so sweet?

Glamour shot of my unexpected package today!

There is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved. People take care of me down here- I'm so lucky!

How is it that so many good things happened all at once? Do I want to say goodnight to this wonderful day?

Loving the love fern.

2009-02-23T22:16:00.000-08:00

It sprouted! I couldn't have been more excited! My plant for Marriage and Family is finally growing! I knew it could do it. I put my pot under a lamp at night, and I gave it more water. It's a tiny green speck full of life, energy, and loveliness. I've been telling everybody. Some people have heard 2 or 3 times.

There were so many wonderful things that happened today. I saw a flock of geese by the ramp happily quacking, I bought a pack of Sixlets for 15 cents with my friend Kate at the bookstore, and I walked home from school today as the sun was setting. I saw a girl riding a Razor scooter on campus, and I saw another girl wearing flip flops. People are playing ping pong in the courtyard again! That's how warm it is! I also scheduled a picnic with my dear friend this Saturday.

This is what I ate for dinner last night. It made me so happy that I had to take a picture of it. It was my first time cooking with tofu! The pineapple is from my wonderful visiting teachers.

And now I'm going to bed. A wonderful end to a wonderful day.

I'm making a list of things I love.

2009-02-06T14:51:00.000-08:00

Waking up 2 hours before your alarm clock, and then going back to sleep
when the family room in my apartment is clean
Getting a haircut
Finding a good parking space
A cancelled Blackboard quiz
The ice cream party after a horrible test
My mom
Discovering a new door in a building
A free computer in the LRC
A good TA. (My food science TA)
Pumpkin pie leftovers
When an old lady says how much she loves you

And I would love for my love-fern to sprout. Will you love my love-fern? It counts as much as an exam in my Marriage and Family class.

Microbiology 221

2009-01-15T18:02:00.000-08:00

Last night, I went over to Liberty Square to meet up with a few girls from my class to do a group project.

"Group project" makes you think of tedious studying for hours in a dull scheduled classroom,

problems and questions and referencing and citing...

right?

My group project was cookie-making.

Our group signed up to go first so we could do our presentation on prokaryotic bacterial cells. We showed the differences between Gram-positive and Gram-negative cells.

I was in charge of making the frosting. I loved it. I dyed some of it purple and some of it pink. I left a little bit to make yellow and blue for the lipid bilayer.

I was in charge of explaining the peptidoglycan, represented by the Pull N Peel Twizzlers. Gram-positive cells have a thicker layer of peptidoglycan, which retains more of the crystal violet dye when it is stained. That's why it's purple.

We passed out our leftover candy to the class during our presentation. People tried their hardest to not look like idiots and get excited about the candy. But I could tell they were excited. Who passes out candy organelles in a college lecture?

My very favorite part:

walking up the hill, past the Benson and into the Marb carrying two 9X13 pans of the weirdest looking sugar cookies anybody has ever seen. Everyone that passed me did a double take, but tried not to stare. I could tell they were staring though. Who carries giant sugar cookies across campus?

I bet they wished they were in Microbiology 221 with me.

Karma.

2009-01-05T21:07:00.000-08:00

Today was the first day of school. Alissa could tell I was excited to go. She even pulled out her new camera and took a picture of my "Oh this is going to be an awesome day!" face. And then, I even got a ride to school. I slipped 3 times walking to class, but I never fell. I had Food Science first. What could be better than talking about food 3 times a week from 9-9:50? Have you ever wondered what disodium inosinate is in your salad dressing?
I'm going to find out.
We are required to keep a "Food Labels Journal" all semester and research ingredients we have never heard of before.
This is definitely my thing. I'm kind of a food nerd.
I had physiology next. Dr. Rhees is a very cute old man. The kind of old man that communicates without saying, "I'm old. And I know what I'm doing, so don't give me any kind of crap."
He listed 5 or 6 prestigious degrees he has received up on the board. Two of them came from the U.
All he said was, "I got my degrees from this school. But I don't like the U."
I think I'm going to love physiology.
I walked home in a blizzard. It wasn't that bad. And then we went grocery shopping. We used to be able to get there and back in 30 minutes. But tonight, after driving on 800, up to the Wilk, down Bulldog, and into Macey's during a CRAZY SNOWSTORM, we got in and out in 2 hours. Not very time-efficient. We got 2 inches of snow on the car in those 2 hours. It was insane.
I let two cars in when I didn't have to. They waved, grateful.
I sat at a green light, 2 rounds of the same green light, but unable to go because of the traffic backing up on the other side of the intersection.
It was insane.
But when we came back to the BC, there was ONE EMPTY SPOT in the covered parking.
And I got it.

I think I'm in love with Prince Phillip.

2008-12-29T19:27:00.000-08:00

I went home to Layton awhile ago, and my niece did something that cracked me up. She was dressed up in one of her princess dresses, with a tiara, shoes, and a wand to match. She laid perfectly still on top of the piano bench and whispered, "I'm Sleeping Beauty. Kiss me and I'll wake up!"

I like to play this game too...

Whenever I ask my niece who her favorite prince is, she is confident when she answers, "Prince Phillip!"

I haven't watched Sleeping Beauty in years. I had almost forgotten the story line. It was time to watch it again. So tonight, by myself, I watched the animated film. Adorable.

I am nineteen years old; I think I enjoyed it far more this time than when I was five! I would love to be Aurora for a day. Having 3 good fairies to save my prince sounds entirely wonderful :)

I must say, I think Prince Phillip is the best prince. He has to escape the grasping fire of Malificent, slash through the thick forests around the castle with the sword of truth, and he has to kill the fire-breathing dragon!

What did Aurora do to deserve such a man?

She pricked her finger on a spinning wheel.

Personally, I think Cinderella deserves Prince Phillip.

I love finals week. Really. I'm not being sarcastic.

2008-12-17T16:16:00.000-08:00

I went to Spoon Me last night with Rick. The spoons are edible!

It's not every Tuesday night that I can get frozen yogurt with pineapple, blueberries, and kiwi, and feel perfectly justified.

On Monday night, my roommates and I went on a 7-11 run for a study break. Hershey's chocolate and candy cane with Irish Cream: $1.15.

Our study plan: we study for 45 minutes, and then watch our favorite scenes from the best chick flicks for 15 minutes. Pride and Prejudice, The Notebook, A Cinderella Story. Sappy and wonderful.

Dana decided to go junk-food free for finals week. That lasted until Dana's sister made her muddy buddies...

My mom sent me a Finals Week package in the mail filled with loveliness. Princess fruit snacks, gluten-free oreo cookies, gluten-free chocolate chip cookies, life savers, and candy canes. Isn't she the best?

I love finals week. I really do. I went bowling yesterday with my roommate Alissa. I had an hour before I had to go to my Mission Prep final, so we made the most of it. I scored higher than I ever have before. I went caroling too! We bundled up and licked our candy canes while we went from apartment to apartment spreading Christmas cheer. See? Wonderful things happen during finals week.

I've done some great things today.

2008-12-15T14:54:00.000-08:00

I sold back my books. I didn't even have to wait in a line. When the man at the register said, "Your total comes to $93.50," I smiled and thought, "No. YOUR total comes to $93.50." It was a wonderful feeling. I even got a PayDay candybar.

I listened to a song about Christmas cookies. I liked it so much I pushed repeat.

I made homemade bread.

I listened to Akon at Gold's Gym.

I put a letter in the mail.

I took my Rel 211 final. I was in and out in 40 minutes. That definitely deserves a World Record status.

I am studying with my roommate Alissa in the library. Everyone is in the library right now.

I caught snowflakes on my tongue.

And tonight I'm going caroling. Finals week day 1.

I saw two people wearing flip flops today.

2008-12-10T17:49:00.000-08:00

It's December and we have no snow. Am I complaining? Absolutely not. The sun was shining today and the grass is still green! I got hot walking to school today. The bottoms of my pants are dry and I don't have to scrape snow off my car. Winter couldn't be any more enjoyable. In fact, I saw a girl studying outside the JSB today. It was a lovely day .
The snow is inevitable, it's true. But I'm enjoying every sunny day as it comes. I also rediscovered an old pair of comfortable AE shoes that I absolutely love, and today I pulled out a sweatshirt I forgot I had. I love that.
Oh, and another thing: I've been getting texts from an unknown number. The first one said, "Hello Beautiful, this is Bevan. We met early Sunday morning at your check stand. Anyways, I know u are asleep, just wanted to say hi & haven't forgot about u." I was absolutely flattered. I don't work at a checkstand on Sunday mornings, and I have never heard of Bevan. I let the text make my day, and I replied anyway. "Oh you're such a sweetheart," I said, "Love you!"
He called me the next day. "Hey Aubrey," he said.
I sniffed up my runny nose and told him, "Um.. ya know, I think you have the wrong number."
I hope he didn't feel like an idiot. It kind of sounded that way though.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. Really sorry."
I told him it was fine. It was fine. I think twitterpated people like Bevan are really funny. There's a couple in my mission prep class who always sit together. I see the girl lay her head on his shoulder; sometimes he'll kiss her cheek. I heard her talking in the bathroom once about how they are getting married.
See? It doesn't feel like winter. Winter is gloomy and wet and cold. But love is still in the air, people are still wearing flip flops, and I am even enjoying the week before finals week.

I have a new favorite phrase.

2008-11-13T15:46:00.001-08:00

Today I was on the phone outside the library, and I'll admit... I peoplewatch. I saw a guy with a shirt that said I LOVE HOT MOMS. He was pushing a stroller. It made me extremely happy. If I'd have had my camera, I would have definitely snapped a picture. I saw another guy singing outloud to his iPod. I don't think he realized that anyone was watching. His glance barely caught mine and he realized that I had seen it all. I hope I didn't make him feel stupid, because singing outloud and thinking nobody is watching is totally okay. I also renewed my locker (clear down in no man's land in the Brewster building) and I learned a new dance in my Polynesian Dance class. It's a Tahitian dance! The Tahitian unit is definitely the hardest so far... it makes everyone in the class sweat a lot and by the end, our quads are super sore. Our teacher brought a bunch of grass skirts today, and I got to wear one! I just love the idea that while some people are gloomy because of the gray day outside, I am inside rockin out to island music. Super awesome. That's my new favorite phrase.

I'm converted.

2008-11-08T20:35:00.000-08:00

Last night, Alissa, Marissa and I went to Ross. I planned on getting some khaki pants or some dress pants. That was the plan. I was needing some pants- real woman pants, not jeans. There was slim pickins in the dress pants section. But the jeans section was jam packed with hangers and hangers of... (drumroll please) SKINNY JEANS. I almost passed them by. I have always looked at the girls who wear them and thought, "Cool pants. But those could never be me." I don't know what gave me the urge to grab the hangers off the rack. A rush of out-of-body silliness perhaps? I picked up 3 pairs of skinny jeans. ME. Miss ultra-conservative Lindsey Anne. Yes, I picked up 3 pairs. The girls encouraged me, and it was a tough decision (they were all $15..) but I finally decided on my pair. Dark washed, super stretchy and absolutely lovely skinny jeans. Me. It's true.

Today I saw a girl dressed up like Cinderella.

2008-11-04T15:02:00.000-08:00

I wonder why she was dressed up? It doesn't matter. Cinderella is definitely the best princess. I also saw a guy give his girlfriend a daisy. She almost cried with excitement. So did I. I saw a girl with pink galoshes, and another one with green ones. There was a guy vacumming up all the leaves in the bookstore. (There were a lot dragged in today with the wind and gloom) After the devotional, where I made plans to play rageball with Alissa, I walked in the rain, under my umbrella, to my polynesian dance class. We are onto the Tahitian unit now. We stretched out first. I felt official. While everyone was moping around in the rain, I was dancing to island music. Could class get any better? Now I'm in the library, taking a break from studying Nutrition 200, which I won't pretend is my favorite, because it isn't, and on the table next to me is guess who- a guy and a girl who can't stop whispering. Cute, but not in the library. It's ok though; they only do it once in awhile. I took a lovely nap, probably 10 minutes too long, but I think it was worth it, even though I lost circulation to my arm. Tonight is cleaning checks, and yoga of course. I think I'm most excited to go home and eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Those are my favorite lately.

Polynesian Dance 173R

2008-10-23T19:11:00.001-07:00

Today we learned the Haka. It's a war dance from New Zealand that is meant to intimidate an approaching enemy. The men of the island used to violently dance it in order to prepare for war. Today, most of us with fair skin, jeans and hoodies took a stab at it. With wide eyes (which facial expression is called a pukana, fyi) and fierce hands we begin "KA MATE! KA MATE! KA ORA! KA ORA!" We learned the whole chant from words smeared on a whiteboard in the Wilk. After we went through it a couple times, barely catching onto the words and foot movements, our teacher divided the class in half. We faced each other and had a contest to see which side was the scariest. We hardly knew the words let alone the arms and legs to go with it. Maybe that's why it was so surprising to see one of the guys in our class, a native from New Zealand I believe--he had a fiercely intense expression, with feet violently stomping, knowing exactly what words were coming next. It blew us all out of the water! He was so passionate; it was AWESOME! By the second line, I was laughing hysterically and so was the girl next to me at our sad attempt to look fearsome. The giggles were contagious. The whole class was exploding with peals of laugher while trying to keep a straight face that would intimidate our enemy across the room. It was hopeless. By the end of the song, we were doubled over laughing at how silly we must have looked. "KA MATE!"

A Day at the Hospital

2008-08-02T14:46:00.000-07:00

Some people say that my job is easy.
"There's no challenge. All we do is walk in the room, slam the tray down for the patient, and then write the time we get out of there."
I disagree.
I don't just walk around a hospital and see food and friendly nurses.
I see people who suffer.
There are patients who are covered in tubes and bandages, breathing only by machines. I see people gasp in pain as they are pricked and poked. I've seen patients throw up right in front of me. There are patients with casts and bruises and slings. Some of their voices are muffled by their bulky oxygen masks. Others cannot even say their own name.
I can't help them.
That's a challenge.
This morning on my usual delivery run, I walked into a room and immediately a machine began screeching incessant beeps. I was frightened.
I was frightened? I couldn't imagine how the patient must have been feeling. I walked to the nurses' station and told them what happened. They could tell I was scared. A nurse went into the room with me. I set the tray down and as I looked at the ticket, I recognized the name. I knew this woman.
Margie Chapman. (name has been changed)
She lay motionless with her mouth wide open, gasping for each breath. I hardly recognized her. She had once been a lively lady in the dining room at Chancellor Gardens. She always ordered Green Tea, a bowl of ice cream, and she was notorious for taking food up to her room.
And now? She's here. I hope for not much longer.
This wasn't the first time I had seen one of my dear elderly friends. Many people I love have come to the hospital. I don't like to see them here. They used to be so excited to see me serve them in the dining room at the assisted living center. But here they are scared. So am I.
I don't think it's possible to say that my job is simple.

Yet for every room with a suffering patient, there is a room with a little piece of heaven inside.
There are people who glow.
I see mothers who look into the eyes of their child for the first time after nine long months. A sweet affection can be felt when I walk in the door and see them cradling them. I see fathers rock their new babies with tender hands as they look at their wives with adoring eyes. I hear the other children say, "I'm a big sister now! Isn't my baby brother cute?"
There are patients who take my hand and look me in the eyes and say, "You're Lindsey with the beautiful smile! Thank you for bringing me my lunch!"
I've seen a woman whose entire left side was paralyzed. She could eat and move without help, and most importantly, she didn't let it stop her from smiling and saying thank you.
I once saw an old man sit for hours with his wife. He said he would help her eat.
He did until she passed.
There are days when I feel like my efforts are not enough.
I wish I could do something more to help the people I see. There are things that make me cry sometimes.
Although my job is not an easy job, it is a wonderful job. Why?
I give my heart. I see remarkable people who have overcome harsh obstacles. I see new life; a breath of fresh air.
I see miracles, really. Everyday.

2008-08-01T16:47:00.000-07:00

It is days off like this that I LIVE for! There are few things I enjoy more than cooking for people I love. I'd say we made a good team, although Spencer looks much more official than I do! We chatted about vegetables in Lithuania as we chopped our zucchini and squash, Michael Buble serenading our graceful strokes. "Yeah, you have to wash the vegetables in bleach over there!" Spencer sauteed the garlic and onion while I measured out the rest of our wonderful ingredients for our meal. We created an artful display of fruit to place on our fancy red tablecloth, along with the chicken, corn on the cob, sparkling cider, homemade bread, and of course, our amazing squash and zucchini dish. We finished all of our creations just in time for Lisa and Adam to come to celebrate their anniversary. I spent the rest of the night doing the dishes. I love doing the dishes.

I need ten dollars.

2008-07-28T09:41:00.000-07:00

I lost a pair of shoes yesterday. Actually, I didn't lose them; something awful happened to them. It was so bad that I told everyone at work about it, and we laughed. It was hilarious. I left my rubber crocks in the car while I went to church. It was a hot day outside... but hot enough to ruin shoes? Yes. Definitely yes. My feet scrunched as I tried to put my shoes on after church. THEY SHRUNK! My dear shoes have carried me so many places, and now my heels hang off the ends. I almost cried thinking about my loss, but black shoes were worth every penny of the ten dollars I paid for them. So, anyone? Ten dollars?

Sushi? Not so much.

2008-07-24T09:21:00.000-07:00

The picture doesn't show how nervous I was. This is RAW fish we are talking about here! I naively threw a roll into my mouth, hoping for the best, but it simply wouldn't chew. I swallowed as best I could, trying to paint a happy face over my disgusted one. And if that's not enough to gross you out, check out the red stuff on top of the rolls of sushi. Wanna take a stab at what that is? You got it: FISH EGGS! Caleb wasn't lying about the Pop-Rocks effect when you chew them up in your mouth. I wondered what all the popping was inside my mouth... And to make things worse, after I swallowed my atrocious mouthful, Caleb said, "You know what's gross? I'm going to be finding these red things in my teeth all night." YUCK!

I wish it were true!

2008-07-20T20:56:00.000-07:00

I had a crazy dream last night! Layton was a medieval town with castles and towers! Knights on horses crossed my path, and there were grandiose parties with feasts and fancy dresses. Peasants roamed the streets in ragged clothing... I saw it all in the middle of Gentile and Main Street. Okay, so not all of it was medieval. The best part? My medieval ladyfriends gave me a present as we lounged atop our stonecut tower. We sipped sparkling cider from silver goblets as I tried it on, the firelight from torches making the event glow. I almost felt as cool as Harry Potter when I realized that their gift made me turn INVISIBLE! A cloak you may assume, but no... it was much more noteworthy than a cloak. It was a WIG! Not just any old granny featherduster though. It was made of fresh grapes! I may have looked silly when I first put it on my head, but after that, I was thrilled with the idea of being invisible. I took it off and on, surprising my guests when I vanished and then suddenly reappeared. I didn't think my fun could end, until I realized that very few things escape the "too good to be true" trap. My new found superpower was one of them. I confidently assumed that my invisi-wig could not be challenged, until a dear guest claimed she could still see me. I was stunned with disappointment. My fun slaughtered! She said it was my smell that gave me away. That was the end of the dream. I still want to be invisible. I just won't wear perfume next time :)

my hair my love... GOODBYE!

2008-07-10T12:02:00.000-07:00

I hadn't cut my hair in almost a whole YEAR! The plan was to grow it out until August, but I couldn't stand it any longer. It was getting icky and scraggly and it only looked okay for the first 10 minutes after I straightened it. Overall, it was just getting to be too much work than I was willing to put into it! It would get tangled even if there was a slight breeze outside, and it would get hot on my neck... I was just ready for it to be gone! So, I cut it! I finally feel like I'm back to being myself!
I love that I can ride in a Jeep and get out and have my hair look exactly the same, no worries, no work. This is my haircut, and no matter how hard I work to keep it long, it just isn't me. This is! Me and my short hair!

Lindsey is REALLY happy about next week.

2007-11-17T21:04:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is going to be the best three days in the entire world. Life at 130 North is a life of luxury...crushed ice, soft water, half and half on the morning oatmeal, the treat box, meals that magically appear and disappear, Gold's Gym, sleeping in... what could be better?

me and my baby

2007-10-13T19:38:00.000-07:00

now you may suspect that being a girl means something about a baby. I don't know why you would think that, but you just might. Anyway, just to clear things up I have nothing to do with a baby. I like dolls and play things of the sort, but that's as far as my baby stuff goes. Well, on to more important things in life....there is this boy who is writing this blog. He's very cute, but he wrote something about a baby. What should I do!? I'm all for cute boys, but not for cute boys with babies! Bam! Haha, I think I will stop boring you to the death bed and get off. Sorry for any awkward comments made in this blog...bye