Believing in things we don't expect.

Every phase of life seems to come and go so quickly. I feel like I just barely put on my grad cap and gown and walked, but that was four months ago (kind of a long time!) and now I am moving to Provo in exactly two weeks. How much do I need to get done in two weeks? A lot. Like finish my scrapbook and finish good reading and detail my car and memorize lab values and play...

play very hard.

and it all will get done because I love checklists.

Can I say that this SUMMER has flown by and is ending so differently than it started?

Here I am saying it. That it is so much more full of life and glorious things than I ever expected

More than I ever expected. How often do we say that life has exceeded expectations?

Here I am saying it

that worlds can be opened to us that really didn't seem likely or desired or needed or possible

but they OPEN

like a good book that stays open for a very long time and we are changed

and we share it with other people and they change too

and we end up spending time in places we would have never ever thought

(and when I say "we" I mean me)

Me. Lindsey Anne. I am going to be an intern very very soon at Brigham Young... and I have been changed. I am excited to work in a hospital for the next 6 weeks

and I find slaloming exhilarating

I enjoyed making a budget today on Mint.com (yes me, talking about money)

I'm getting a 4G phone in October (yes me, entering this century)

Now my favorite mornings are spent with mom and dad biking or swimming or hiking.

I LOVE THAT.

And:

I didn't go to my ward's superactivity. I went to California with bestest friends instead

I played beach volleyball and spikeball and loved it

and expediting didn't stress me out yesterday

and I'm going with the flow and not wondering where the next marker down the channel is

...what has gotten into me?

I think I have come to the realization that I can do whatever I want. What I really really want.

I'm learning that what actually happens sometimes is actually better than what I even wanted in the first place

and that maybe expectations are funny things that should be thrown out and we should just

LIVE instead.

and when I say "we" I mean me. Lindsey Anne.

It's Tomorrow!

The half marathon. It's really here! And I would love to say that I'm stoked and it's everything I've been waiting for
and that I'm super buff and that I'm a legit runner and that I'm going to ROCK it
but right now all I can say is that...
I'm kinda nervous.
I've never done a half marathon, I've never even been an athlete and... all the girls I'm going with ARE.
But I am me. Lindsey Anne. And three years ago? I couldn't even jog thirteen minutes. And tomorrow, I will run thirteen miles. I will. It might take me an hour longer than everyone else, but that's okay.
I'm still me, and it's my goals and my time and my experience that doesn't need to be compared to anyone else's. It's not a race. Just an experience--that I will love, if I conquer my fear.

Can I list all the things that could be worse at this point?
The muscle I pulled in my leg three weeks ago could still be hurting, but it's not hurting. Yes!
I could be sore from working out too hard, but I'm not sore.
It could be higher altitude and harder, but it's not. Moab is lower altitude, warmer, and BEAUTIFUL!
I could be going with people who don't care about me. But these girls, although they are much more in shape than I am, really care for me and are my best friends. They'll wait and they won't make me feel dumb.
I could be sleep deprived or sick, and I'm not. I'm healthy.

And there is a big part of me that is incredibly excited. Carb loading, stretching, layering up, wearing an iPod, talking with people along the way, shedding those layers
and running distances I would have never thought possible,
A road trip with my dearest dietetics friends, doing something I've never done before.
I can do hard things.

The Way We Show Love

Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and fortunately, I had a lot of errands to run on campus. I loved walking through all of the festivities for the day! I saw the can-your-valentine booth set up by the Food Science Club, the personalized icing on heart-shaped cookies done by Sugar and Spice, and my very favorite: the long long line of men at Campus Craft and Floral.

I love seeing how people love each other.

I saw dozens of girls with roses and tulips and daisies

and lots of guys with flowers in-hand on the way to deliver.

I saw two people with balloons tied to their back-packs,

and the most unusual way I saw someone share love: a guy picking his girlfriend's zit. However you want to show it... I guess it works!

Brooke from work made her husband breakfast in bed, and Bianca from work woke up to a trail of rose petals and a fiance at the end.

Kate from the dietetics program came home to a bouquet of flowers from her man, and Renee from the dietetics program made pizza with her new husband.

And mine came at 4:40 am, in the picture, and in a virtual date. A perfect beginning, and a perfect ending.

Happy. Really happy Valentine's.

Trying New Things

I haven't pushed New Post in almost two years, but here I am.

Back. And writing.

My well is no longer dry. I am here, I am. This part of me is no longer dead. It's here, Revived like me.

I've done a lot of growing up, a lot of coloring my picture without the pink. I have done things I would have never imagined myself growing up to do, a lot of things learned I never imagined that I could know

but I know them, and they are a part of me

growing and blossoming into a tree of me.

I took the GRE. I ran a 10K. I'm graduating. I learned to play guitar and cook and teach Relief Society and plan meals for more than 100 people

I learned to love

I learned to cope

I am

Courage and Tenacity. Faith and Hope.

And would I trade it? No I would never trade it. My picture is my picture, and I needed to color it all by myself for two years.

It's easy to get comfortable, doing what we do everyday

everyday.

Taking the same route, calling the same people, cooking the same things, playing the same chords and songs we've played for two years.

it's easy. Familiar.

We resist Mom saying Come try this. We ignore Opportunity because we're scared, or we think we're busy with more important things

until It nags us so much that we give in.

And then we learn a new strumming pattern, when we initially didn't think we could

and tears of this indescribable JOY and gloriousness well up in our eyes

because we can do what we never thought possible.